review of 300

I plopped down into my seat, ready to endure the series of inane movie trivia that usually precedes the feature.  There was none.  Surely there would be some sort of pre-show admonishment…you know, turn off your cell phone, put your feet down, don’t smoke, don’t yell “FIRE!“, yadda yadda.  Lately they’ve been doing it with animated characters, which was cute for the first 2 seconds of the first time I saw it.

They slipped it in there all right, but this time it was in the form of a short film I’ve entitled “Why You Suckers Just Paid $11.50 For A Movie Ticket.”  Local TV news personalities from Channel 3 described to me in detail the IMAX Movie Experience, including the exact dimensions of the screen in front of me, the fact that IMAX film is strong enough to tow a car, and several other things I don’t care about.

After that gripping preview, I was more ready than ever to watch some high-tensile-strength film.  The comic-book-come-to-life imagery flashed onto the screen, and I prepared myself to experience something that “isn’t just a movie, it’s the next step in filmmaking.”

It may or may not be the next step in filmmaking, but it is most certainly just a movie.

Granted, I did get to see a lot of great action sequences, fantastic cinematography, and — thanks to IMAX — breasts that were approximately the size of a Geo Metro.  My complaint is that it turned out to be really, really boring.  With all the hype and Warner Bros.’ sweet web site for the movie, I was expecting to be blown away.  It was graphically violent, and it’s a compelling story, but it didn’t stir my emotions at all.

The audience is told repeatedly of the bravery and valor of the 300 Schpottans, but not shown in any compelling way.  Okay, we get it.  Everyone is Schpotta is a badass.  After that point was quite soundly made, I spent the last half of the movie wondering if anything interesting or new would happen, aside from enemies with different costumes approaching the mounting wall of slain Persians.

You can expect to see a lot of cutting, stabbing, shoving, slicing, eviscerating, decapitating, and even some fornicating if you go to this movie.  If you watch it on the IMAX screen, you can expect to pay $11.50 for what the good folks at Star Cinema must consider to be quite a privilege.  Expect to spend the first 5 minutes of it being told why you should think IMAX is just as impressive as they do.

Where Do You Get Your Ideas?

I just today happened upon a blog with a great concept behind it: the sources of various creative people’s ideas. The Bill Hicks quote caught my eye.

[Where Do You Get Your Ideas?]

mmmm, poop

I just drank something that came out of a cat’s ass.

Well, that’s not entirely accurate. It was actually an Asian Palm Civet, otherwise known as a Toddy Cat or a Luwak.

One of my coworkers ordered a small sample of Kopi Luwak coffee, which is coffee that has passed through the digestive tract of this small mammal. They collect the turds, clean and sterilize the beans, slap on a gourmet price tag, and ship it to you in a nice box. After tax and shipping, one pot of coffee will cost you about $30.

It tastes pretty nice — not being much of a coffee connoisseur myself, I can’t comment on the subtle nuances of flavor and such. It’s not bitter in the least; it tastes to me like your average ordinary swill with a packet of sugar in it. At least that stuff doesn’t cost $10 per cup.

You can read all about this phenomenon at Life After Coffee.

in 5 seconds

Today’s YouTube chuckle comes courtesy of guywiththeglasses, who edits out the fluff from popular movies and leaves about 5 seconds of the good stuff.

site redesign

I finally got around to tweaking the site layout the way I’ve been wanting to for some time now. It actually looks the same in IE and Firefox now — a change that’s long overdue.

I hit a deer.

…on Seminole Highway about an hour ago. It just trotted out in front of me from the right, and then it did about a 720-degree spin as it flew off to the left side of the road, apparently dead.

Well, the deer is alive after all, because it was gone by the time the officer arrived. I have no idea what its long term prognosis might be, because we couldn’t find it.

The long term prognosis on the LHS, however, is that the passenger hi-beam is the only headlight that still works and the plastic grill and front of the hood have been thoroughly deerified. I had just straightened out that battery business a few days ago, which is a good thing because I doubt the hood would ever open again if it needed to be jumped.

I’ve been pretty lucky to have driven in Southern Wisconsin for 10 years and only now to have been forcefully acquainted with Bambi. I was also pretty lucky that I was only going 35 MPH.

The little DJ inside my head decided to play that Wallflowers song as I drove home. Thanks, little buddy.

purple reign

The capital dome is all a-purple again.  I have no idea why they do that, but it looks really cool.

the iPod army

Although it’s a little disconcerting to see so many people aurally disconnected from their surroundings as they walk around, I have noticed a great side effect: I see so many more people smiling these days.

Churrascaria Sabor

Tonight we dined at Sabor in Milwaukee to celebrate Shifu Ferreria’s upcoming wedding.  The meal  — an authentic Brazilian churrasca served by a steady parade of gauchos — was fantastic.  This is the kind of meal that one needs to save for, in terms of appetite and cash…but that’s OK, because I don’t think I’ll need to eat again for another 12 hours or so.  I don’t think I’ve managed to eat so much on any prior occasion, including Thanksgiving.

git along, little dogies

The new PT rehab program, designed to heal my hamstrings, is quite a workout in its own right. Consisting of mostly balance and agility exercises, it’s an unfamiliar approach, but I’m willing to try it for a few weeks. With any luck, it will work better than what I’ve been doing: stretching after kung fu workouts and weight lifting sessions, without any progress in flexibility for months.

Herds of girls overtook the north sidewalks of Langdon Street as I drove home this evening. I don’t know if they’re current sorority members or prospectives hoping to make the cut, but damn, there sure were a lot of them walking toward the Union. It was quite a spectacle…wranglers on horseback with 10-gallon hats and bullwhips wouldn’t have seemed out of place.  Maybe I’m just bitter because they wouldn’t let me into I Felta Thi.  Something about my legs being too hairy.  And being a guy.